9 Months And Counting

9 Months And Counting

My baby girl is getting so BIG! I can't believe how much she can do now. Abbey can crawl, walk around all furniture, and stand all on her own. She laughs and giggles and it just makes me want to eat her up.

Joel and I decided to enter Abbey into Parenting Magazine's baby contest. This is her picture that we entered and we can't wait to see what they say. I know I shouldn't get all excited considering I am completely biased, but she is DARN cute!

Will It Ever Get Easier?

As each moment in life passes by, I find myself wondering if it will ever get easier? I know that many people say it will only take time to heal and others find themselves saying “Life must go on." I always wonder what it must mean to “Move On?” I don’t ever see myself really “Moving On.” To move on means that you must forget what you had and to move forward without those memories that make each moment in life worth it. How can I ever find myself doing that? At this very moment moving on would mean that each day would go on the same as it did, which we all know does not. I do know that time heals all, but how much time? I know it has only been 2 months and I know that is not enough time to move forward with out feeling the same pain as I do now, but really enough is enough. I find myself saying “I’m tired of crying,” and the truth is, I am. I hate that with every song on the radio my reaction is tears. I hate that there is no longer a Priesthood holder in our home to comfort and protect us. I hate that we will never feel the same blessings that he had brought into our home. The empty chair at the dinner table, the empty spot on the couch next to my Mom, the car missing in the driveway, and a spirit that is no longer here are all the things which make me not want to “Move On.” So for those who say “Life still goes on” has something coming!
It is strange that a picture I walk by everyday on the way to my bedroom has a different effect on me. I can walk by and smile for the good times we had or I can stop, look, and cry for the memories I will no longer have. That one picture can say so many words without really saying a thing.

A smile from Abbey has so many effects as well. I feel pain because Abbey will never know how wonderful her Papa was, I feel guilty because she does not have the memories as I do, and I feel blessed that they had six months together! I know that it has become my obligation to help her know truly how wonderful her Papa was, how much he loved her, and that each action he made was for another person’s gain. I also know that it is up to me to make sure she understands the power of influence he had on all of our lives and how grateful we were to have him at all! I just hate that I have to be the one to tell her and that he can not be the one to show her.
I know that with each passing milestone I will feel pain and sorrow that he could not be here to watch and see the proud accomplishments. Abbey’s first birthday will only be tears knowing he never made it, which only makes it worse. When each baby receives their name and a blessing I will walk out of Sacrament meeting with tears rolling down my cheek wondering who will ever be good enough to bless my next child. With each and every moment in life, I will wonder why he couldn’t have been there? I know that this is just the beginning of a very hard and rocky road that I must face head on, but I still wonder why it had to be him? As my Mom says, “He was just spiritually ready.” Well, in that case, let’s all make sure our children and family members are not spiritually ready anytime soon. I know I will never know the answer to the question “Why him” until I am with him once again and I know I will one day be alright knowing that he is with me in spirit. I just hope it is someday very soon!
I know that life will always throw you a curve ball and it just depends on how you swing the bat, but let me tell you, I have been swinging the bat for quite some time. I know that eventually it will get easier, but I just want to know when? I also know that people are looking out for my best interest and that people are praying for our family. I do know these things, but my bitterness is what shows through. I know I am loved and supported throughout all of this and that I do have friends I can lean on, and let me tell you I am truly grateful for it all!!! I do want to say that I love each and everyone of you who do care, who do try to understand, and who listen no matter what!

The Best I Have Ever Done

Today was the best I have ever done!!! Joel and I went to CVS today and this is what we walked out with. 42 items! We had a few hitches, especially with the Aveeno deal. I bought the $25 worth and then it would not give me my EB so I had to return it all. I guess I will try again this week, the only bummer is I lost my coupons because the transaction was already processed! Thats alright I guess! I do have more, I was just planning on saving a few. Another hitch was at the end when I was paying, the customer terminal would not let me pay. Yes that is right, it would not take any form of payment. We figured it out and I payed at a different register.

It turned out alright considering what all I got. Because I did one of my Aveeno returns last I got a $15 giftcard for next time. That would of taken my total even lower if I had done it before. Are you ready for my grand total without the giftcard............... $25.64! If you minus the $15 GC it's $10.64. Plus I recieved $10EB for next time. I did wonderful! So everyone go out tomorrow and stock up on some great baby items. They were pretty much FREE or $.61 each. It depends on how you look at it!

I would like to extend my deepest apologies to Delaine. I always thought you were a little nutty for doing the coupon thing. I am very Sorry!!! Now that I know, I wouldn't want you any other way than NUTTY!!

Abbey Misses Her Grammy

Abbey has been missing her Grammy since she left Friday morning!! We both decided we would find a way to tell her how we feel!

We hope you have a great vacation and come home safely!
I love and Miss you Grammy!!

Yay Me!!!

I went to Kroger today and stocked up on their buy 10 deals. I did great, well atleast that is what I think! I bought 62 items totaling $174 and I only paid $39. That includes Pull-ups, gatorade, cat litter, and strawberries that I did not have coupons for. It would of been less, but I forgot that I had an $8 gift card from a return. I am still very excited on my success! Yay me!!! Also in the last Sunday paper there were $2 got 2b coupons, plus on the actual got2b products there are $2 coupons. So on one product you can save $4. They are $4.64 at Target, so with all my coupons they only came out to $.64 each! I only buy 2 papers so I only have 4 coupons, but that bought me what they had. That makes me very happy!!! They also work wonderful to add shine and volume to your hair.

Looks Who's Crawling

Abbey is now 7 months old and on her way to being completely mobile. She now can crawl all on her own. Here are the picuters to prove it.

About 2 weeks ago Abbey started getting up on all fours and rocking back and forth and in the last 2 or 3 days she starting actually crawling! She is now on the move for good!


This is what Abbey can do now! Look at her go!

I am now worried how much I will have to run after her. The only good thing is that we have hard wood in all hallways and in the kitchen, she slips too much, which means she can't get too far!

Chocolate

Today Mommy did something Daddy definitely didn't approve of. I had a taste of Chocolate Pudding (100 calories and sugar free), but non the less, Chocolate Pudding. I loved it, but I don't think my parents will let me have any more. Too bad, but I did enjoy it while it lasted. I even let some on my face for later!!!

As Abbey told you above, I gave her some yummy Chocolate Pudding today! I just had to get a few pictures of what it looked like on her cute little face!